I'm starting over...

why do I feel like I'm always starting over?

Why don't I follow through?

Why is it not my goal, vision and mission to FULLY follow Jesus?

Am I hot, cold or luke warm? If I'm honest with myself, I'm luke warm....

Today I make a change...a radical change. This change has been needed for a long time now. I hear God telling me to draw close, but I guess I have other things to do.

Today I make the change to CHOOSE how I spend my time. Will it be tv, computer, cleaning etc...or will it be when my sweet children call on me....even if I think they don't really need me....I want to be there for them always....I want them to know that Mommy is always near, watching, listening, cheering, helping and praying for them!

Today I choose to follow my calling. I have been called to be a wife. Not a nag, not a destroyer but LOVING & supportive. I have been called to be a mom. To love, to be kind, gentle & patient. I am to display God's love in my life & to do everything in my power to raise our children to be fully devoted followers of Christ.

I need to have a vision...the Bible says that without vision people perish.

I need to get my relationship back with God....I need to be HOT not cold.

Everyone will end up somewhere with God...I want to end up somewhere ON PURPOSE. I want to hit the target!

This is going to be hard, it will require a lot of effort. BIG changes need to be made....great relationships never happened by accident....

I need to be intentional about my relationship with Jesus...


Please God, help me. Help me to get back to where I need to be, WANT to be with you. It is possible. I love you. I need you, I want to crave you. Help me to desire you the way I should. Amen.

Love Lisa

being in the world....

but not OF the world.

I am really thinking about that this morning and what that means to me.

Where is the line.

Am I crossing it?

What to I do to keep away from that?

Am I being a prude? Is that good? Is it bad? Is it effective?

We'll talk more later.

Lent

So it's the 2nd day of lent. I've never really given anything up for lent before or added something on for these 40 days. I've thought about it a lot this time around and think that it would be a great challenge for me to give something up or to add on. It would help me in refocusing my attention back on Christ. It would help to put things in perspective and to reflect on what Christ has done for me, and what I can sacrifice so that I can be reminded of the price he paid for my sin.
So I tossed around many things to give up that would be a challenge...internet/ computer, chips and even tying my hair back (I know that would be the biggest challenge) then I realized that it would be great to ADD ON. So even though my one word (resolution) is to LOVE ... for lent I would like to really focus on LOVE...being LOVE. I want to live & speak love. I want to also focus on being love life and more importantly being thankful...ever grateful for the blessings I've been given.
I will try to post each day. And finish my blog post with something that I am thankful for.
I pray that these 40 days will be a challenge..and mostly I pray that I will change.

"Create in me a clean heart oh God, and renew a right spirit within me...restore unto me the joy of thy salvation"

I am also challenging myself to read through the book of Proverbs...and also the book "Faith Begins At Home" by Mark Holmen

Thankful for Christ, His love and what it means to me!

It was a bad day....

I was rude, mean and angry to my family.
I was jealous, envious about things.
I have had a spirit of discontentment...even when I can't admit it.
I am comparing the good in other peoples lives and only focusing on the bad in ours.

God, please....work in me, change me, help me!
I know that I have a wonderful beautiful life...the best husband a gal could ask for and 3 wonderful, happy and healthy children...
life really can't get better for me.

....hormones!

p.s. thanks babe for helping me see...God really used you today! You truly are the bestest!

Love Lisa

some project!

who has time for projects anyways?

resolutions?? who keeps those? I know I don't! So....I resolve to REALLY love God! Thats it! My promise is to love God! Everything else should fall into place if I truly LOVE God...right?!?

I know its not going to be easy....but it's working!

I can be a jerk...a big jerk! To my husband, to my kids...even to my parents and poor sister! I'm changing and sometimes...not so much! Thanks for putting up with me! I'm tyring....really I am!

So many things on my mind. What to do with life etc. But you know what? NONE OF IT MATTERS!!! What matters is eternity....where I spend it, where others spend it...and what I DID to help help peole figure it out! Thats it...LOVE GOD! Stop telling people what I believe and start showing people what I believe by LIVING IT!

Work in me Lord...use me

Oh how I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this song.....it always comes to my head!

POTTER'S HAND

Beautiful Lord, Wonderful savior
I know for sure all of my days are held in your hands
Crafted into your perfect plans

You gently called me into your presence
Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life
Through your eyes

I'm captured by your holy calling
Set me apart. I know you're drawing me to yourself
lead me, Lord. I pray

Oh Take me, mold me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the potter's hand

Oh Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the potter's hand

You gently call me into your presence
Guiding me by your holy spirit
Teach me dear lord to live all of my life through your eyes

I'm captured by your holy calling
Set me apart. I know you're drawing me to yourself
lead me, Lord. I pray

Oh Take me, mold me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the potter's hand

Oh Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the potter's hand

It's gonna be a great year...

because I'll make sure it is!

The last few days haven't been too bad. I'm trying to find more patience. It's hard to find sometimes.

I love, love, LOVE Christmas...but for some reason it just feels different this year. Maybe it's just me...maybe it's that I won't see any of my extended family this Christmas. I don't know? Matthew and I just need to try hard to make our Christmases special. I keep reminding myself that we have so much to be thankful for. That all 3 of my kids are happy and healthy...that we can be altogether! Praise God for that!

Maybe I feel different this year because it is one of the first years that I've really, really hurt for the hurting...and maybe thats a good thing.

Kids who have nothing, including love.
Sick people.
Poor people.
Moms that are hurting because they are far from their children. Dads too.
People who are searching...knowing that there is something to life that they want, can't find and don't know what it is.

God, please use me. I want to help you rescue your children! Help us, my family to ever be thankful for the blessings upon blessings you give to us...not to take it for granted, EVER.
God, please be with those who need you...may the Holy Spirit work in their lives and they find what they've been looking for...YOU!
God, please give families with sick kids joy this Christmas...knowing you are in control.

Thank you for Matthew...I love him so much and not sure sometimes why he loves me so much! Thank you for his undying love for me and our kids.

And again...I pray for patience...please keep working on me!

Here's to a great day with the kids! A happy day!

the phone won...AGAIN!

Although I didn't post yesterday I thought a lot in bed about how my day went. I always think..."tomorrow will be better" & sometimes it is, but most of the time it's not!

I somehow always find something to do and not include the kids - to ecape them. Sure, I find things for them to do...they're not just zoned out & plugged in to the TV...I don't ignore them and their needs are met, but about their other needs? But I want to do more crafts, games, songs and snuggle times just with them! Doesn't that sound fun? I'm constantly trying to keep them quiet, calm & the house tidy - does that sound fun, for them or me?

I'll choose the computer, phone, cleaning...anything! Before you know it the day is done and I've hardly played! I invisioned being a much better housewife & SAHM. But here I am making these choices to stay away and disconnected from them! TODAY I'm choosing them!

So what do I do? Unplug the phone? Computer? Ignore the things that need to be done? I know I'm going to look back some day not too long from now and wish that I had them young again...to delight and take joy in them...my beautiful treasures from God!

God, please be with me today, reminding me of my choices! Help me to enjoy the kids. Help me Jesus in my frustrations. I don't want to be angry...just full of joy! Help me make desicions when it comes to discipline.
Please be with Matthew, give him a wonderful day and that might know how much we miss him when he is at work and how much we appreciate him for the things he does for our family and the love he shows to the kids and I!
I praise you daddy...you are wonderful beyond description and I love that no matter how close or far away I am to you...that you are always there holding me, hugging me. You never move Lord....it's me!

Love Lisa